School-based Anxiety Interventions for Parents/Caregivers

Edith Appleton
Apr 5, 2025
8 min read

Updated: Aug 11, 2025

Ring the bell! School is back in session! While some parents, children, and adolescents are celebrating the ending of long summer days and the beginning of a new chapter in school, others are struggling with the anxiety that accompanies this new beginning.

As a social worker, I have heard many children and adolescents express anxiety about starting the new year, and they are not alone! Their Parents/Caregivers also share with me that they, too, are anxious for what the new school year will bring for their child. If school anxiety is impacting your family, I want to provide you with tools you can begin to use today to help with anxiety management.

Before we look at ways to help calm anxiety, first, we need to understand why it is that humans have anxiety from a biological perspective. Inside each human brain is a tiny cluster of cells, named the amygdala, that is roughly the size of an almond. The amygdala is primarily known for its role as the fear center of the brain, which alerts us to potential threats to our safety. When I see clients for the treatment of anxiety, I refer to this part of the brain as "Amy" and explain that this part of the brain is always on guard. Once a threat to safety is perceived, an individual will immediately feel the impact on their body with the symptoms of anxiety, such as a fast heartbeat, feeling shaky, difficulty breathing, headaches, stomach aches, trouble concentrating, and so much more! I also share with my clients that while "Amy" can be viewed in a negative light, we also need her to keep us safe. Every day, we encounter threats to our safety, which can be real or perceived. Can you think of a time in your life in which your thoughts were causing you anxiety? I know I can. Now that we know what causes anxiety in humans, let's jump into ways to help manage anxiety.

Anxiety Management Toolkit for School Anxiety

Bring Your Calm to Help Your Child/Adolescent Regulate Their Emotions Related to Anxiety

It is important for parents and caregivers to try to do their best to remain calm when helping to alleviate the fears of children/adolescents. By bringing a calm, gentle presence, this helps regulate the nervous systems of a child/adolescent, enabling them to find their calm or at least minimize the amount of anxiety or worry they are experiencing.

What We Say Matters! Validate and Encourage

Validate your child's/adolescent's feelings. While it is easy for us to say things like "don't worry, you will be fine," this can invalidate the feelings that your child/adolescent is trying to express. I can speak from personal experience that when my sons were small, I never thought that making such a statement would invalidate their feelings. So, please give yourself grace if you have done this. We are all growing as we go!

Validate and Encourage:

"When I was your age, I was scared too on the first day of school. I know that you are brave and can do this! I am so proud of you already!"

Teach Why We Have Anxiety in Age-Appropriate Language

With children who have anxiety, I make it simple when I explain why they have anxiety/big worries by sharing that there is this special part to our brain called "Amy" and that her job is to keep us safe. Still, sometimes she worries too much about things that cannot hurt us, and this is where we can use our coping skills to help "Amy" calm down. I also teach children that "Amy" can cause us to have a little worry, so that we will prepare for things like tests in school or even activities like sports.

Share with Children and Adolescents What They Can Expect in Their Day

One of my favorite play therapists is Lisa Dion! One thing I have always held close to my therapeutic practice, which stems from Lisa's work, is the importance of making the unknown known. I have discussed with many parents the importance of talking with their children about what they can expect in their day at school, providing a general review of their day, and clear communication about who will take them and how they will get home. I have encouraged parents to obtain a copy of the daily schedule and review it with their children, and even create an age-appropriate schedule to explain what their day will look like. I know that for me personally, I feel better when I at least have a general idea of what to expect.

Items for Security and The Power of Smell

Items for Security and The Power of Smell

Sometimes it is the little things that make the most significant difference! I have noticed that several of the children that I have worked with in the past had their mother's/caregiver's ponytail holders on their wrists for security (the kind that is not tight but roomy enough to wear as a bracelet). They have told me that they like wearing them because they remind them of their mom/caregiver. If you are a mother/caregiver who wears perfume, you could put a small amount of the perfume on the ponytail holder, allowing children to have a way to smell their mother/caregiver's scent while they are at school, providing comfort. Smell goes straight to "Amy" for interpretation of cues related to safety. Smelling a familiar, safe scent can bring immense comfort to a child who is stressed about being away from their parent/caregiver, as this scent can remind them of you and the comfort you provide.

Parents and caregivers can write notes of encouragement for their children to keep in their pockets or backpacks, to read or look at while they are at school.

Parents and caregivers can also make bracelets with their children, with each making a bracelet for the other to wear while they are apart. While making the bracelet, this could be a time when the parent/caregiver discusses the child's strengths and identifies beads to represent those qualities. This way, when the child wears the bracelet, it will remind them of this special memory, their strengths, their ability to overcome challenges, and your bond.

Breathing Exercises

Breathing Exercises for Adults and Adolescents:

I must admit that I never used to teach my clients breathing exercises until I learned the science behind the benefits that breathing exercises can offer. When we take a deep, belly breath, we naturally stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps induce relaxation in our bodies. In the words of one of my first therapy teachers, "When your world is spinning out of control around you, the one thing you can focus on controlling is your breath." I teach my clients to take a deep breath in, but to be sure to breathe slowly out, giving themselves time between each breath, repeating three or four times.

Breathing Exercises for Children

There are numerous options available online for teaching children breathing exercises. One of my all-time favorites to teach children is "Hot Cocoa Breath," which I originally learned from Journey to Wellness NZ's visual aids and other adaptations a few years ago. I do this by asking the children if they like hot cocoa with yummy whipped cream, and I usually get an astounding 'yes!' I then say I am going to teach you a breathing exercise that no one will ever know you are doing. I get to the child's eye level and ask them to pretend that they are holding a cup of hot cocoa in their hands, with yummy whipped cream on top. I then ask them to imagine breathing in the yummy smell of cocoa and vanilla through their nose and hold that breath in for a few seconds. Then, when they breathe out, they pretend to cool down their hot cocoa. I cannot tell you how many children, adolescents, and even adults have said to me that this breathing exercise is one of their favorites for helping them manage big worries/anxiety.

I have included a book below that I used in the play therapy room, called "Breath Like a Bear." 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere (Mindfulness Moments for Kids) by Kira Willey. The children that I work with love the creative breathing exercises in this book. Trust me! It is a gem!

Link to the book, "Breath Like a Bear." 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere (Mindfulness Moments for Kids) by Kira Willey.

https://amzn.to/3XFbgVy

Thought Busters! Also known as Cognitive Diffusion

Have you ever had a thought come to mind, and just that very thought alone caused you so much anxiety? I work with clients of all ages who struggle with thoughts that induce fear. How we respond to those thoughts can make a huge difference in the way we experience them.

Adult Thought Buster Example:

For example, let's say that we have the thought, "My child is not going to be okay without me." Your body is going to feel the dread of that very thought, which will cause anxiety and worry.

Drum roll, please, here comes Thought Busters to the rescue! Try saying or singing that thought out loud in a funny voice by adding a fun accent or just saying it in a way that is silly! I promise this does sound silly, but your body will not react the same way if you take the thought so seriously.

Child Thought Buster Example:

I had a child I worked with who didn't like country music at all. When her thoughts were causing her much anxiety, she would imagine the worst country song and tune and sing the thoughts in her head while she was on the playground, and reported back that it helped her not take her scary thoughts so seriously. Of course, in the play therapy room, we rehearsed what this would look like, and I accomplished this by singing her scary thoughts to her in a country music style on the ukulele. Trust me, I cannot sing or play an instrument, but not having those gifts certainly helps me when I am teaching how to use thought busters!

Boss Back to "Amy" for All Ages

For clients of all ages, I have explained that while "Amy" has a big job of keeping us safe, she can sometimes be bossy and at times even a big bully who keeps us from doing the things we would love to do. "Bossing Back to Amy" is an internal dialogue technique for all ages that can help when someone has a thought that is causing anxiety.

For example, let's say someone has the thought, "No one is going to like me this year at school." Being able to give "Amy" back that same level of bossiness could go something like this: "Amy, you don't know everything! I am not listening to a word you are saying!"

Use of Anxiety Coping Statements for All Ages

Sometimes, just having a simple anchor statement can help us cope with anxiety. Here are some examples: This feeling is normal and will soon pass. I am safe and I will make it through this!

I encourage my clients to get creative and come up with their spin on anxiety-coping statements that will work best for them.

Family Bibliotherapy and Art Activity

One of my all-time favorites to address school anxiety is "The Invisible String Backpack" by Patrice Karst. This book is an excellent tool to help children learn how the character in the book navigates facing her fears of going to school. It is a precious book that provides numerous teachable moments through storytelling! I have read this book to children and their families, and followed up with a fun art activity that provided the children a chance to choose their favorite item from the invisible backpack to help remind them of the concepts from the book. You can get creative as a family and use drawings, paint, role-plays, or whatever you think your child/children will enjoy; the possibilities are endless!

Link to The Invisible String Backpack" by Patrice Karst.

https://amzn.to/4mephEc

Other Book Recommendations for School-Based Anxiety that are Great!